#MyWordForToday is #Safety.

"I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, oh Lord, only makes me dwell in safety."

Psalms 4:8 KJV

#MyWordForToday is #Safety.

So much is happening in the Y2020, so much has happened, it feels like we have lived an entire year.

Due to the deadly COVID-19, many of us fear for our health and those of our loved ones, because of the alleged racially motivated killing of George Floyd, many of us fear for the lives and businesses of ourselves and loved ones.

In Nigeria, we are facing a rape pandemic, institutionalized harassment and defilement of women. In the past few days, we have had reports of young vibrant women, raped and brutally murdered. Both in places, where we think are "safe place".

More alarming are the excuses put forward by fellow human beings for these dastardly acts, where is our compassion, where is our empathy? It is all very overwhelming. 

As a Christian, there are many resources in the Bible to turn to, especially if the challenges we face are things we cannot control nor help, it is a veritable source of comfort. "but the Lord only makes us dwell in safety". 

For you will not be able to comfort others if you are yourself in a state of pain. You cannot pour from an empty cup.

What is safety? I think of it as a refuge from the vagaries of the world. A place, whether physical or otherwise that we can hide in when it all becomes too much. In my case, I seek refuge in prayers, on my knees, weeping my heart out, seeking a sort of release from the pain.

This, however, may not work for everyone, but it is imperative for each of us to have a hiding place when the World becomes too much to bear.

The concept of safety has over the years saved women from domestic violence, saved Africa (of all heritages) from a certain ruin, saved people of dissenting views from those who wish to crush their rebellion.

It seems the human race needs saving from itself because it seems we are intent on obliterating ourselves from the face of the Earth. We tamper with the environment causing it to overheat, we abuse the animals destroying the symbiotic relationship that helps to keep the circle of life going.

We hate ourselves for things that are beyond our control. Protests, rioting, have become commonplace because each new day brings another level of hate.

Perhaps what is most annoying is how we masquerade, sending love and light, accepting to be protectors of sorts but using that facade to hurt others.

This post is a cry for help, our safety depends on one another. We cannot guard against what we cannot see, and so we need a hand whenever danger lurks by. 

Ubuntu is a Nguni South African saying that I have interpreted as "without you, there is no me". A Nigerian Yoruba adage also says "one hand is inadequate to lift a heavy load unto the head".

Being a safe place is not just physical, it is spiritual, it is virtual. Kudos to those being safe places for others. Guarding them against marauders and stealers of peace.

It is appalling that a woman of any age is not safe, her only crime is being born with a vagina. This makes her a target for a person carried in the womb of a woman, and most likely, born out of that same vagina.

At the moment, all we have are ourselves, and God. But God is not going to come down, He has given us the freedom and power of choice.  So what are you doing to keep others safe?

Are you a safe place?

Bibire Omotoyosi Salihu

04062020

#Mywordfortoday is #ImposterSyndrome

#Mywordfortoday is #ImposterSyndrome

Have you ever experienced a feeling of being inadequate, a feeling that makes you doubt your own competence and accomplishments? 

A feeling that makes you self sabotage yourself many times. Don't worry you are not alone, these feelings of self-doubt are shockingly common. 

Oyinbo people call it the "imposter-syndrome"...IS can make you feel that you only succeeded at a thing because of luck and not because of your ability. I used to think, albeit erroneously that it was nature's way of ensuring that we do not become narcissistic. 

I have now found that it is a psychological challenge and it happens to the best of us. 

Let me use myself as an illustration, writing is a sort of catharsis for me, but no matter how many times people tell me, "oh I loved that write up of yours", I still feel like I do not measure up.

I lately found out that I had such a high opinion of what writing should be like and I sought for that, not realizing that each person's talent is different. 

The way we express ourselves is peculiar to each person and you should never measure yourself against what the World chooses. This is very important 

If there's no place for your sort of talent, create it, you have absolutely nothing to lose, yea your ego will be bruised (If you fail), but so what? Egos are made to be bruised 😂😫. (Gospel according to Bibire)

My old Boss was wont to say, it is not what you do not have that is the issue, it is what you have that you are not utilizing...this is the crux of the matter.

So while it is good to seek for refinement, it is important to continually express your talent, this is the only way to get better at it. 

Like I said in my earlier post, if you do not like who you are, create another you, whilst still retaining your core. 

Start by knowing that you do not have just have one identity, NO YOU DO NOT.

 Each area of your life may bear a different identity - being a Mom, in your finances, business, happiness, at work, faith, fitness and so on. This means that at every point, you are a work in progress.

And this is why I tell people, you may never be able to predict what you'd do in a given circumstance. So when I hear people say, it can never be me... I just chuckle. 

Anyways, If you want to refine any aspect of your life, you have to shift your thinking.

This shift starts with the way you think about yourself and how you talk to yourself, but the biggest, most impactful way to refine your talent and by implication, your life is through your associations.

Jim Rohn said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

The cliché of “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future" is not a mere platitude.

But more importantly, the worth you place on you is absolutely crucial, why? You’ll never get more out of life than what you think you’re worth.

 

 Surround yourself with people who are doing better than you in those specific areas.

Thankfully,  In this social media era, the company you seek do not have to be your Friends, read widely, listen to impactful podcasts, and Youtube videos AND  then take action on what you have learnt or read.

Many times, when you go on IG, you see charlatans masquerading as makeup artistes, but those people are waaaay better than you because they have taken action and if they persist, they will get better at their craft.

The only way to deal with imposter syndrome is to continue to do....and when you get discouraged, look at how well you did in the past.

Also you can borrow this hack from Modupe Odele "Imagine that everyone is also an imposter" 😃

Leaving you with this quote i stole on Mark's internet

“Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome.”— Anonymous

Cheers to a better YOU 😘 and ME of course. 

Bibire Ose Fowora

P.S. Many of my writeups are directed at me, but if you found parts of it useful, 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Bibireosefowora 💋

#mywordfortoday #impostersyndrome

#Mywordfortoday is #Humour

#Mywordfortoday is #Humour

This is definitely a topic I am qualified to write about because I have always believed in the power of being lighthearted, and I like to believe humour was factory fitted into me at creation.😅

I love to laugh at life, at myself, at stuck up situations and their human versions. Humour, however, is much more than just the ability to laugh or make others laugh.

Humour, in my opinion, is being emotionally intelligent. And according to Karyn Buxman a Neurohumorist, "humour is power".

Knowing how to make light of any situation, however dire, is priceless. I read via Ms Buxman about the Cuban Missile crisis, a nuclear war that was averted due to the humorous remark made by one of the Russian generals.

Dr Seuss has said that nonsense is absolutely necessary for the growth of our brain, also, science has shown that humour helps us to retain information for much longer, it aids us in in learning, understanding and comprehension.

I don't know if black people developed humour as a coping technique because it seems like blacks have this really heightened sense of humour. Perhaps it evolved as a way of coping with the problems that we had, we were held as slaves and segregated, we face racism every day our speech is disparaged so perhaps humour is our way of coping with our everyday activities.

Children learn through play, and that ought to tell you how important humour is in our lives. When I train people in leadership and personal growth, I infuse play and humour into our sessions.

The whole class is laughing and learning; and will probably remember the things we played about. This is a much better scenario than when everybody is staring at your PowerPoint presentation, whilst pretending not to doze off, even after downing cups and cups of coffee.

I bought a book for our eldest son "a Wayne in a manger" by Gervase Phinn.  It's a hilarious collection of stories about the birth of Jesus Christ.

Little children from age 5 played the part of Joseph, Mary, the Angel, the innkeeper, and the wise men. Mary, age 6 was visited by the Angel and told that she would be having a boy child, she argued with Angel Gabriel, on "what if it's a girl".

Gabriel insisted it was a boy because God "knows about these things". After that was settled, the Angel said the baby had to be named Jesus, she wanted to call him Gavin because Mary doesn't like the name, Jesus 🤣🤣🤣. The Angel sulkily informed her that "if you are not naming him Jesus, you are not getting him"

When Joseph got home, Mary told him "I am having a baby - oh, and it is not yours".😭😭😭

Whenever I feel low, this book lifts my spirits because, in no time, I'm laughing so hard at the innocence of these younglings.

I have written a lot about how Proverbs were used to shape our lives in Nigeria. Some of these proverbs, while teaching wisdom was delivered in the most humorous of ways and the humorous ones, are the ones we typically remember:

"calculation is the husband of making love or having sex"- "Isi ro l'oko dido".

What do you think this means? My interpretation is in everything that we do in life we need to calculate and plan the good, the bad, and the intermediate this includes having sex apparently, 'uncalculated' sex has consequences.

I have found that humour is a very powerful motivator if properly deployed, some people may not agree because they think being funny makes work somewhat less serious or even inefficient, whereas where work is made fun, it increases productivity and fires up the brain from all that clogged up stressed induced feeling.

Although Humour is a necessity, some of us are humourless. Is there a way to learn, a way to find your personal humour style? are there resources available to help?

Humour helps us, not just to survive, but also to thrive, so in learning to be humorous, I am going to borrow from Loretta Laroche who said in order to learn become more humorous, you have to become a witness to your own behaviour and think about what you're thinking about and why? Interrogate your feelings.

She said if you think the worst and get the worst you suffer twice, but if you think the best and get the worst you only suffer once.

Borrowing further from Karen Buxman, knowledge is no longer power, it is the application of knowledge that is power, and this is true, even for humour. She said that in order for you to see the power in humour, you need to intentionally raise your awareness.

Look around you, see funny rather than be funny intentionally look for humour in places, in situations, in people. 

Humour has the power to increase our resilience, reduce our tension, and relax our muscles. Humour helps us to get the brain going, when we laugh, a chemical called serotonin is released leading to us feeling much better. If you are looking to be a more humorous person, you've got to become the fun that you are seeking.

According to Professor Albert Ellis, a number of people spend their lives "catastrophizing and awfulizing", failing to realise that the energy you give is the energy you get.

We would always say "stay away from negativity and negative energy", right? But what if you are the one with the negative energy?

Some of us have allowed the cares of life to rob us of humour, but worry has never added even a cubit to anyone's stature. All it does is make you anxious and miserable.

Professor Ellis wants me to tell you to "stubbornly refuse to make yourself miserable". 🙏

My first assignment on entering a place is to lighten it up. The energy in my office changes when I enter into the office (at least three-quarters of the time), I enter with exuberance and attitude of "I cannot kill myself o".

Even the Bible in Proverbs 17 verse 22 NLT tells us that "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength".

Humour is powerful, but if we do not apply that power, then all is lost.......As Viktor Frankel said: "Humour is another of the Souls weapon in the fight for self Preservation".

Bibireosefowora 

26052020