#MyWordForToday is #Leadership

#MyWordForToday is #Leadership

So much has been written on leadership and leadership skills. I very much doubt that there's anything I want to write about today that you haven't heard before.

But have you read leadership from my own point of view? No?  let's talk about my view of leadership.

In these dark and uncertain times, we need to understand that the styles of leadership must evolve. We must look for better ways of connecting with each other in order to create a greater community.

The cool thing about leadership is that the style is not the same for everyone.  And, your title does not make you a leader; your influence and impact on others is what does the job.

So, whether you are referred to as a leader or not, please be aware that someone somewhere is paying attention to the choices you make.  Not only are they paying attention, but some are also been led by those choices.

Like I always say,  a lot of destinies are tied to yours. Some of these destinies are unknown to you but the choices you make or making are so far-reaching that they are touching lives around the globe.

It is so profound that the life you may touch may yet be unborn. I have never met Maya Angelou, and she definitely wasn't aware of my existence, but I have learnt so much from her leadership style.

I am careful to create my style of leadership from compassion, empathy, humanity and humility.

I've also taught myself to self-lead, therefore, I will never be able to direct any of my team members to do stuff that I am unwilling or unable to do.

I have been scorned many times for my leadership style, but I have also been appreciated. I learnt not to take this scorn personally, of course, it stings to be scorned. I, however, chose to see it as a lesson and therefore took it as feedback instead of criticism.

As a leader, you would be one who is emotionally in touch with yourself. When you become emotionally intelligent, you are on your way to being called a leader.

I am not even halfway there but I am learning, adapting, and making allowances. I have always said and reiterated that there's no such thing as "bad" leadership you are either a leader or not. Periodt 😎

All those adjectives such as weak, ineffective etc are anomalous and cannot sit side-by-side with leadership. Like I earlier said, your title is not a determinant.

Being a leader does not suggest that you have it all figured out, it certainly does not mean that you know it all.

It does, however, mean that you are possessed of such self-confidence that allows you to bring others to your point of view,  but you're also humble enough to learn that which is outside of your expertise.

All too often, we see "leaders" that are not only closed up to other people's perspectives but are also prisoners of theirs. Inflexible, unyielding, belligerent to other viewpoints, unwilling to see their team members as possessing any kind of intelligence.

I worked with someone who would always tell us at meetings that "you don't think".

Belittling your team or thinking that you are higher in intelligence is an unintelligent way of leading anyone, even the children from your womb.  It is the worst kind of way to lead.

As a leader, although you project self-confidence, secure in your own strength, you want to also actively discourage groupthink or go-alongnism. You want to encourage healthy debates.

And this is why I say as a leader, you must never surround yourself with sycophants.  You must like Sara Canaday said, "purposely disrupt your own thinking, and challenge your own ideas" by surrounding yourself with people who are willing to point out your weak or blind spots to you.

I did do a post about blind spots, please find time to read. I am of the view that it is very important that as leaders, we are aware of our blind spots and we work towards eliminating those.

You cannot do this by yourself. A candle although brightens the room is unable to give itself light.

Leadership this way does not infer that you would not be assertive. What it means is that you are secure in your own strength and working on your weaknesses.

Leadership starts with YOU and ME, of course.

Would you be willing to tell me what your idea of leadership is?

Namaste

Bibireosefowora 💕💌
(Neither Pedigree nor Class can be bought with Money).

#MyWordForToday is #Clarity

#MyWordForToday is #Clarity

Sometimes life throws raw eggs on our figurative windscreens, and our first natural instinct would usually be to use our wipers to clear it off.

This would be a grave mistake because using your wiper to clear off eggs from any windscreen would impair or even totally block your vision.

How does this apply to #MyWordForTheDay? Seeking clarity in areas of our lives requires that we do stuff that will not block our vision.

What is clarity? When I was about 25 or so years old,  I had a terrible breakout of acne all over my face. In fact, I had an episode that made me stay indoors for weeks. I was unable to step out of my house because of those disfiguring spots on my face.

My cousin eventually told me of Oxy10 and glycerine, and these helped me clear up the acne. I also used a clarifying lotion to smoothen it up. People who saw me afterwards marvelled at how pretty my face had become.  

This could only have happened because I had succeeded in clarifying my skin and so my beautiful face could shine forth.

Clarity,  whether of the face, the Vision or of our purposes in life is very important. We have often said one of the best things you can do for yourself is to know and understand your purpose in life.

I want to believe many of us have read "The Alchemist" by Paul Coello. One of the most profound lessons therein for me is "realizing your purpose and living it to the fullest, each day of your life".

In order to do justice to this blog post on clarity,  a talk about purpose is inevitable. Purpose,  to many people, sounds like a really terrifying concept. 😊 It doesn't have to be.

I'm going to demystify it by simply referring to it as "your message". So, purpose = your message to the World.

In the blog post, I did on personal branding, I identified one way to decipher what your message to the world is. Please check through my blog for that post.

The Bible also did say "wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure", meaning “your message” is where you spend most of your time, your interests, stuff that keeps you going, where your heart is.

I had said before that it is important to identify your message, but what is even more important is clarifying that message. This means that you have to keep evolving and honing your message until it becomes synonymous with your name.

Mother Theresa was anonymous with kind acts of charity,  Jack Ma with e-commerce, Michael Jackson with best-selling dance and music.

These folks have carefully cultivated and clarified their brands up to the point that their names come up in connection with those things I'd mentioned.

Going back to the analogy of the raw egg on the windshield, you must understand that although clarity comes by taking hold of your message and finetuning it,  how you do so is very crucial. Using your wiper is doing the right thing in a wrong way, because rather than clear your vision, the wipers will totally blind you.

Thankfully, there are many resources you can deploy to get clarity on your message. Seek for the right kind of help whilst remembering that your vision is not just about you, and so you must be very intentional about your how.

I sent a blog post of mine to a friend and asked if he thought I could publish it as a book, he responded by saying, the best way to know is to publish it. I will get the feedback that I need, and this will go a long way in helping me clarify my vision.

Having an unclarified message ( I say this because some of us have multiple messages) is akin to having many tabs open on your PC, this slows the PC down,  thereby reducing its ability to work optimally. No matter how great your message is, leaving it directionless will cripple it.

My old Boss was often wont to say " direction is more important than speed". 

In my case,  self-leadership is an intrinsic part of my message, this means that more than anything else, I value growth and everyone with a growth mindset, it is a core value for me. And I have set about clarifying my message along these lines.

If you have read my write-ups, you would see that they are all centred around "self". It is my unshaken belief that change begins from me; if I cannot change myself, how do I change the world?


What would you like you and your personal brand to be synonymous with?  Therein lies your message. Clarify it.


"Let your light shine before others ".

Namaste 🙏🏾

Bibireosefowora 💕💌
(Neither Pedigree nor Class can be bought with Money).

#MyWordForToday is #Resourcefulness

“The mind of a child is where the revolution begins, so if the solution has never been to look at yourself how is it that you expect to find it anywhere else?”-⁦ @ImmortalTech⁩

#MyWordForToday is #Resourcefulness

A word that can mean clever and tenacious, it is a skill that I look out for were I to be interviewing prospective employees.

For resourceful people, giving up is not an attractive option. Our 9-year-old daughter continues to teach us lessons on being resourceful and tenacious.

She simply does not recognise the word "NO". When she asks for anything, she does not hear no, I think she hears "come back later" or "not yet", she's a persistent little bugger 💞💞💞. 

I had written a medium post about her here: https://link.medium.com/6BEAKY6S56. She took a shine to ballet dancing, I tried to dissuade her because I was convinced she had two left feet and was wont to dance faster than musical beats, but she persisted in her belief and has now put me in particular, to "shame" she now leads during her school presentations, and even does solo presentations (this is just one instance of her being persistent when she really wants something).

The life lessons I have picked, and still picking from my little Ejura is that if you really need to do something, you must find a way in spite of obstacles barring you. You must find resourceful ways of achieving your goals, she forces us to sit and watch her practice, she even tries to make us dance ballet 🤭.

It has now become a thing for me, when I find myself in difficult situations, to ask myself what would Ejura do? 😁

I have read very many things about the universe, how it opens up for you when you really want something, I do not know how true this is, I do however know that in achieving a goal, one must be persistent, consistent, determine and tenacious.

Rome indeed was not built in a day, but the bricks to build it was laid every single day. It is trite that as a leader, you must cultivate the ability of being resourceful.

Finding enterprising ways of tackling issues that arise, as life is such that there will always be challenges, the ability to find ingenious ways of solving those challenges will forever be an admirable skill.

Some people refer to being resourceful as the skill of "thinking outside the box". I call it thinking "enterprisingly" or being a jury-riger.

Perhaps being resourceful is a follow-come skill (follow come is hilarious Nigerianese for "factory-fitted"), but I also know that it is a learnable skill, after all, everyone in my family is learning from our 9year old.

One of the hallmarks of being resourceful is being open-minded and flexible in decision making. Always willing to hear others before taking a decision. After all the mark of an educated mind is to examine all possibilities and discard the ones that are not useful for you.

A resourceful person is also great at building useful friendships and contacts, this was aptly named by Ms Carla Harris as having "relationship currency". She said, "If you have a good relationship with someone, they will often be willing to introduce you to others and even to use their reputation to vouch for you or to give you an endorsement".

This is simply using the relationships that you have built over time as a currency to be spent when the need arises, that is being resourceful.

The COVID-19 pandemic has made some of us resourceful, one of the positives to this nightmare. We have had to dig in into ourselves.

The phrase "it is not what you do not have that holds you back, it is what you do have but you're not using that holds you back" rings very very true now.

COVID is making some of us utilise some of the tools in our creative arsenal, it has caused us to take a pause and look inward, to identify what we already have but paid no mind to. And this is quite fantastic.

I follow Shil Shanghavi on LinkedIn, he wrote a post on how one of his shoe boxes, not the shoes themselves, have served to be one of the most valuable pieces of equipment he possesses because he now uses it as a magnificent prop for his MacBook. He said it has now become "an effortless asset for his online presentations".

Bedros Keuilian, author of the best-selling book "man-up", speaking on being resourceful said "If you cannot do it with no money, no connection, and no experience, then you can't do it even WITH all of these things. Being resourceful he says, is the "Ultimate Resource", your biography does not determine your destiny, your decisions do.

A resourceful person is one who chooses their battles carefully. My people are wont to say it is not every dog that barks at you on your way to the marketplace that you must stop to throw stones at, for when will you get to the marketplace?

A resourceful person is aware that his/her energy is limited and should, therefore, be spent on activities that bring a return, and not on just every type of activity.

Perhaps the most important trait of a resourceful person is their resilience and optimism.... going from one failure to the other without giving up their cause. A trait that can also be annoying because they are just like a dog with a bone. 😄

A resourceful person is an emotionally intelligent person that would acquire additional skills, knowledge and self-confidence. Being teachable and open to learning is a vital characteristic of an ideal resourceful person.

I had spoken about flexibility above, let me also mention that a resourceful person is able to shift their perspective on issues. My daughter when presented with a No, pivots to something else and "okay, how about......."? ☺

I have constantly reiterated that if you cannot change a circumstance, you must change how you view that Circumstance. Changing or pivoting from a perspective is very key 🔑 in being resourceful.

A resourceful person will realise that no man is an island and that seeking the opinions of others or bouncing off ideas around others is not a weakness, but a resource. Take time off to see stuff from multiple perspectives whilst not forgetting to keep an open mind, this is my view of being a resourceful person.....

Namaste!

p. s : Ejura is also a budding creative, destroying several papers in her artistic bid. The attached fiery picture is her depiction of " the ickabog" by J. K. Rowling.

Bibire Omotoyosi Salihu

07062020

#MyWordForToday is #Safety.

"I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, oh Lord, only makes me dwell in safety."

Psalms 4:8 KJV

#MyWordForToday is #Safety.

So much is happening in the Y2020, so much has happened, it feels like we have lived an entire year.

Due to the deadly COVID-19, many of us fear for our health and those of our loved ones, because of the alleged racially motivated killing of George Floyd, many of us fear for the lives and businesses of ourselves and loved ones.

In Nigeria, we are facing a rape pandemic, institutionalized harassment and defilement of women. In the past few days, we have had reports of young vibrant women, raped and brutally murdered. Both in places, where we think are "safe place".

More alarming are the excuses put forward by fellow human beings for these dastardly acts, where is our compassion, where is our empathy? It is all very overwhelming. 

As a Christian, there are many resources in the Bible to turn to, especially if the challenges we face are things we cannot control nor help, it is a veritable source of comfort. "but the Lord only makes us dwell in safety". 

For you will not be able to comfort others if you are yourself in a state of pain. You cannot pour from an empty cup.

What is safety? I think of it as a refuge from the vagaries of the world. A place, whether physical or otherwise that we can hide in when it all becomes too much. In my case, I seek refuge in prayers, on my knees, weeping my heart out, seeking a sort of release from the pain.

This, however, may not work for everyone, but it is imperative for each of us to have a hiding place when the World becomes too much to bear.

The concept of safety has over the years saved women from domestic violence, saved Africa (of all heritages) from a certain ruin, saved people of dissenting views from those who wish to crush their rebellion.

It seems the human race needs saving from itself because it seems we are intent on obliterating ourselves from the face of the Earth. We tamper with the environment causing it to overheat, we abuse the animals destroying the symbiotic relationship that helps to keep the circle of life going.

We hate ourselves for things that are beyond our control. Protests, rioting, have become commonplace because each new day brings another level of hate.

Perhaps what is most annoying is how we masquerade, sending love and light, accepting to be protectors of sorts but using that facade to hurt others.

This post is a cry for help, our safety depends on one another. We cannot guard against what we cannot see, and so we need a hand whenever danger lurks by. 

Ubuntu is a Nguni South African saying that I have interpreted as "without you, there is no me". A Nigerian Yoruba adage also says "one hand is inadequate to lift a heavy load unto the head".

Being a safe place is not just physical, it is spiritual, it is virtual. Kudos to those being safe places for others. Guarding them against marauders and stealers of peace.

It is appalling that a woman of any age is not safe, her only crime is being born with a vagina. This makes her a target for a person carried in the womb of a woman, and most likely, born out of that same vagina.

At the moment, all we have are ourselves, and God. But God is not going to come down, He has given us the freedom and power of choice.  So what are you doing to keep others safe?

Are you a safe place?

Bibire Omotoyosi Salihu

04062020

#MyWordForToday is #Bold.

My Word for Today is #bold.

Being Bold has so many connotations, so please permit me to write on boldness and self-expression. 

There's an adage in Yoruba land (South-West Nigeria) that says "it is one who has never encountered adversity that calls himself a man".

A man here simply refers to being a Braveheart and not a man as in gender.

I have interpreted this proverb to mean that if you have never encountered and overcome adversity, is it possible to consider yourself bold?

This is because in my view, being bold is a verb, an action word.

I very much doubt that many of us will look upon the first quarter of the year 2020 with fondness. We have experienced such turmoil, from the Covid-19 pandemic, racial tensions and attendant protests, deaths of our loved ones, it is all a bit too much, but even in the midst of all these ills, we have seen people who have boldly risen up to these challenges, from our medical caregivers to freedom fighters protesting for justice. 

For me, this is boldness through self-expression.

All of the values we had written about in our #DailyWritingChallenge, are all tied to being bold. "Determination, Rebellion, Diversity and inclusion, Humility are all values made possible because of boldness, you cannot project any of these unless you have chosen first to be bold.

I remember writing in the Year 2018 on "Start". It was influenced by my spoilt tap that kept dripping in the middle of the night, by morning it had become a full bucket, this reiterated to me that although little drops of water made a mighty ocean, you must be bold enough to start up the process.

Every little step that you take towards bettering yourself is so much better than just having lofty intentions.

Many of us are stuck in our bid to make a better life for us, and I think it is because of the fear of being judged.

The fear of judgment is so potent that it stops us from communicating our values to the people that we have the potential of increasing their own value. 

Being afraid of judgement is perfectly normal, our fears vary and can show up in myriad of ways. Some of us fear being judged for our lack of expertise, or perhaps the inability to speak in "polished" tones but the fact of the matter is that even while being held paralyzed by fear, boldness helps us, to move and achieve what we want to achieve. So we must simply do it afraid.

Also realise that no one is you, your story, your perspective, is a unique one that you must seek to put out, even if you must do it while afraid.

Back to the piece I wrote, it taught me that the hardest part of doing something is starting.

Being bold to startup will ensure that the more you do things, the better you get at it. Like Marisa Peer said "get comfortable with the uncomfortable", get comfortable with that which makes you uncomfortable. 

Many times when I have reached a plateau in my writing, I would seek out things that spur me on and helps me to dispels self-limiting thoughts that say I am not good enough.

I always fall back on these "when you start, you are already halfway there". I'm also buoyed by my mantra that I have held onto for years now "you cannot fail if you do not try."

There's also this phrase by Mark Zuckerberg that I've held onto for dear life 

"Don't discount yourself, no matter what you're doing. Everyone has a unique perspective that they can bring to the world."

I will leave you with this phrase: "The willingness to show up changes us, It makes us a little braver each time.” ― Brené Brown.

Be Bold, the world needs you.

Bibireosefowora💋

01062020

#Mywordfortoday is #Happiness

#Mywordfortoday is #Happiness: do you even have a glass?

It is fitting to write on happiness as today is Children's day in Nigeria. And happiness in Children is just very delightful.

At 42, I am still very much a child so Happy Children's day to me and my fellow "refuse to lose our Innocence" Gang.😃😃😃

In coaching circles, this age-old question is often asked: "Is your glass half-full or half-empty"? I'd like to add mine to it: do you even have a glass? Let's proceed from this viewpoint.

This is because my answer to that question has always been to be thankful that I even have a glass.

I am always inclined to agree with Maya Angelou who said: "if you cannot change your situation, change your attitude towards that situation". I like to think of this quote as change your perception of the situation if you cannot change the situation, it's kind of the same thing, I just like my version better.😊

I have always been an advocate of moving away from a set of circumstances that is unpleasant to you and I've always said "you are not a tree, move" but I also know that they are situations that you cannot help. 

This means you have to find a way to make your peace with that situation, and this for me, is the key to finding your happiness.

I use the phrase "finding your happiness" because happiness is not a one-size-fits-all concept.

What happiness means to you may differ to another person. Happiness also is not static, it evolves. What has made you happy as a girl may cause unhappiness for you as a woman so it is always important to choose your peace.

Happiness means different things to different people. Some people I reckon were born happy, nothing seems to get to them, while others struggle with being happy.

In order to make what I'm saying about happiness more relatable, I am going to draw up an analogy with childbearing and adoption.

Some of us get pregnant without even trying, some of us have to put in the work (you have to measure your temperature, check the viability of your eggs etc) in order to get pregnant, some of us are unwilling to carry pregnancies and some of us are completely unable to conceive.

We need to stop hounding people over the choices that give them peace of mind, and ergo happiness.

In Nigeria, adoption was almost a taboo subject (in fact, the process of adoption itself is enough to drive one off the rails), people would usually hide or travel out of the country in order to adopt a child, because Society turns up its nose at them for these matters of conception which is outside their control.

I've spoken to a few female friends on IVF, and I was regaled with tales of how excruciatingly painful it can be, it is also really expensive and worst of all, there are no guarantees that it would result in successful conception.

I constantly wonder why we vilify these hapless women. How does it affect you that a person is seeking their Happiness by adopting children?

I'm focusing on women because in Nigeria, it is the primary responsibility of women to source for children. 🙄😒😏😐

It seems to me that prioritising your peace requires courage because although the society masquerades, and wishes you happiness, these wishes are often not genuine.

Well, maybe it is not that society is not genuinely happy for you, but that it wants to determine the way you should be happy.

So it is up to you to build and maintain your happiness.

You will notice that I am constantly using peace and happiness simultaneously. 

This was inspired by Suratul Baqarah (2:216) in the Holy Quran: "but perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you, and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you".

My interpretation is that it is possible that a thing makes you happy, but it is bad for you and others around you; however, whatever brings you peace (so long as you're not a psychopath) would not or should not cause you or others anguish.

In pursuing your happiness, you've got to realise that there are no guarantees at all in life. You may do all the right things and still end up being unfairly treated, make your peace in advance. Save yourself the stress of undue suffering and unhappiness.

I'm going to share some certain things I do in an effort to reinforce my happiness.

1. I try not to " tight the world to my chest". 😄. This is Nigeria speak for "don't sweat the small stuff". This holds true even for the big stuff.

2. I try to spend time with people who uplift me instead of the people who bring me or other people down. We always intuitively know the people good for us. Spend time with those.

3. I try to take opportunities that would encourage my personal growth. This is very key. It might be that you need to equip yourself with skills that you might need to transform your life.

4. I try not to dwell on my struggles as I grow. I always try to remember the struggle of the Caterpillar before becoming a butterfly. I read a story of someone that helped a caterpillar get out of its cocoon, and then instead of transforming into a butterfly, the Caterpillar died. It turns out that the struggle to emerge from it's cocoon is not only important, it is also germane to the development of the caterpillar in transforming into a butterfly.

5. I tried to get rid of the "why me" thinking because why not me? I find that instead of focusing on why this has happened to me, it is best to find a way to get out of the situation and do my best to learn the lessons presented by it.

Please share some of the ways that you have used and has worked for you. Thank you. 

There's something I would like for you to do. I'd like you to take a piece of paper and a pen, and draw up a table. You need to map out exactly what is causing you to be unhappy so you can find practical solutions to that. 

Your first column should be the year (this is only for reference) the second column should be the problem(s) you are currently facing, and the third column should be the possible and impossible solutions.

We all have different issues bothering us, identifying what the core of what those are, having workable solutions, and breaking those into tiny bits may help in alleviating our unhappiness.

Some of us have money issues, for some, it is unemployment, for some, it is relationship woes.  Without identifying the exact cause(s) of your being unhappy, you might never be able to figure out a way out of it.

I'm going to end this piece by reiterating the words of Maya Angelou on the need to re-engineer your thought process and train your mind.

Change what you can, what you cannot change, change your perception to it. 

Prioritize Your peace, it is key to your happiness.And ensure you do not lose your glass!

To your peace,

Bibire Ose Fowora

27052020.

#Mywordfortoday is #Determination

#Mywordfortoday is #Determination

“Everything worthwhile is uphill. Sadly, many people have uphill hopes and downhill habits.” - John C. Maxwell"

In Nigeria and if I daresay, the world, finishing with a CPGA of 2.49 which is a Third Class can be very devastating because it could mean losing out on many juicy job opportunities. 

This is the story of a number of people, but is that the end of the world? Is that the end of the story? Absolutely not. Of course, getting jobs and opportunities with that class of degree is very challenging. 

Many Nigerian employers use your first degree and your age to employ staff, failing to understand that in spite of holding a third class degree, or even a lower class of degree, one can be a first-class employee or even a business owner. 

Today I am writing this blog on determination, to encourage those of us in this situation. 

Sure, you didn't do so great at school, however, your grades will only follow you forever if you do not put it in "rearview and focus on your windshield" i .e. Put the past behind and look forward.

The only way to grow in life is to learn from the mistakes we had made. Success isn't only made in the grades you'd received, but is measured in the person you become or trying to become.

Don't get me wrong, grades are important but your performance after how you leave the university is "importanter".

I found this interesting quote on Mark's internet "don't be afraid to start over again. This time, you are not starting from scratch, you are starting from experience".

My people are wont to say "do not listen to the noise in the marketplace, neither should you allow drummers in the marketplace to drown out what is inside of you. Drummers typically have the attention of the villagers because of how loud their drums are, but never allow them to push you into doubting your own capabilities." (I sort of paraphrased this).

I have found that when we allow our failures (I called them failures because of the stigma attached to the class of degree) to stretch us, we will move past our comfort zones. Failure is a much-needed ingredient on our ways to success. 

Like Ralph Emerson Waldo said, "the person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be".

Whatever it is that we nurture will grow. And this holds true whether in our personal, professional or spiritual lives.

We tend to give effort to what is important to us. Leave the past to be the past, focus on where you'd be rather than what is setting you back.

Determination alone might not suffice, so you've got to discover and understand your strengths and weaknesses. This would build up your motivation and sort of invigorate you.

Are you a good starter and a poor finisher or you have no finish; maybe you can't even start at all but once you start you keep going?!

It is also important that you get help. Some of us need accountability partners that will lift us when our motivation is low.

I listened to a motivational speech that likening motivation to having a bath daily. Our motivations might wane and in those times your accountability partner helps you to take up the Slack.

Determine exactly where your passions lie and make something of that by carving a niche in your passion.

Learn from your previous mistakes so that history does not keep repeating itself and please, please, please as much as possible surround yourself with people who will encourage you on your journey to greatness. 

Stay away from sycophants i.e. people who will tell you what you want to hear and not what you need to hear. 

Let me end this short piece by reminding you Nwankwo Kanu in spite of his ill-health (he had a hole in his heart) went on to play for Arsenal FC and, is today one of the biggest names we have in football in Nigeria.

Remember the journey of a thousand steps begins with just one.

Bibireosefowora 💘

22052020

#Mywordfortoday is #Compassion

My Word for today is #compassion

"The cultivation of compassion is no longer a luxury, but a necessity, if our species is to survive.” – The Dalai Lama

In my view, compassion is a multi-dimensional concept and so, I am going to be dwelling more on self- compassion. This is because I believe that self-compassion is the mother-lode of the different types of compassion.

Compassion is the one concept that I believe is capable of being both selfish and selfless at the same time. Let me illustrate my point by a Nigerian (Yoruba) proverb "If you and your child are caught in a fire, you must save yourself first". 

You save yourself first (selfish) in order that you might save your child (selfless) for if you do not first save yourself, you might be endangering the life of your child, who is perhaps incapable of saving himself. 

When we speak of compassion, we tend to look at the religiosity of it, but compassion just Dalai Lama said is not a luxury. It is a compulsory component for not just us as human beings, but also for plants, animals and the environment. 

I am pretty sure you have heard that plants when sung to, thrive even in less than ideal circumstances. 

Without compassion for each other, we will each die miserable deaths. 

Immediately @ethicaleader sent "compassion" as today's topic, the first thing that came to my mind was the song "we are the world" sung by Micheal Jackson, Diana Ross, Kenny Rogers et al.

In my considered view, this entire song speaks about being compassionate, being kind and lending a hand. Because we are indeed the World, and only together, can we heal our world. 

Everything in life teaches us self compassion but we tend to shy away from being compassionate with ourselves because we have been told that self-love can be narcissistic, however, we can never pour from an empty cup.

Some also believe, albeit erroneously, that compassion makes you weak, and this cannot be farthest from being the truth as being compassionate is being aware of the needs of others, but in such a way that you can carry on with your life whilst being helpful to others. 

Part of being compassionate is having an understanding of what motivates people. There is no way to do this, of course, unless you understand what motivates you. 

Self-compassion differs from self-preservation though they have many things in common, the latter, however, is closer to the selfish spectrum because self -preservation may mean doing anything to help ourselves, no matter whose ox is gored.

But how does one show compassion to a person who has done you dirty? 

It is easy to claim to be compassionate, and I do like to believe that many of us are imbued with that milk of human kindness. For some of us, it is stirred up by the compassionate acts we see people do (some of us have to learn as it may not come naturally), however, sometimes you just want to repay unkindness with unkindness.

It can actually be difficult to show compassion when you have been hurt, and I think it is due to human nature, we are imperfect, and when someone hurts us (a majority of us) we just want to stomp on that person so he/she can feel as hurt as we were. So it is down to bruised pride/Ego. 

The feeling of hurt may stem also from the agelong saying that "to whom much is given,  more is expected".

Perhaps one way of getting past that is to lose our ego whilst simultaneously finding our compassion. 

If we repay unkindness with unkindness, we create a very vicious circle, particularly when the person who did us dirty continues to do so... 

Honestly, being compassionate to those set of persons becomes near impossible, it is why in  Africa, some people become witches. 😄😄😄

They just want to cause that person misery... but we know how that goes!!! You will lose your soul. 

It is a known fact that it is not only people who receive compassion, that benefit from those acts, the giver is also rewarded by the release of some endorphins and a feel-good Factor, now isn't this, in fact, a win-win situation? 

My Husband, who is also a Lawyer recently got judgment in a pro-bono drug related matter, i remember him saying that the joy he got from the appreciation of the Defendant's father surpassed any professional fees that could have been paid.

Even whilst grappling with COVID-19 and its attendant troubles, we are reminded daily that compassion is the one thing that binds us together and really, it is one currency that the world cannot, but spend. 

Let me end this piece buy a quote from Russell Simmons  "compassion is the ultimate expression of your highest self".

Bibire Ose  Fowora

20052020

#Mywordfortoday is #Acceptance

#MyWordfortoday is #Acceptance: Understanding your value helps you to know and understand the value of people, situations and things.

In 2003, whilst preparing to go to Law School, my academic world at the time came crashing down. I found out that but I had failed a very crucial course without which I would be unable to proceed with my classmates to Law School. 

In 2001 I reached my left hand (I'm a south-paw) to acknowledge my name to a law lecturer and he was livid with anger he said that I was disrespectful and rude, I apologized and the matter is saying it was over.

Fast-forward to 2003 I discovered that I had failed that course and with it my admission to law school that year. I don't think I have ever cried the way I cried that day, I cried so much that I began to fall ill.

After much consideration, accusations and counter-accusations, I got cleared by the Faculty of Law to proceed to Law School in Kano, Nigeria. Some weeks after that,  the Senate at my university decided that they could not waive that course as it was a core course. I was asked to return and take that 300 level course again.

When I got that letter, I just fast-forwarded to the last stage of grief, acceptance. I had fought every step of the way to get admitted into law school over a year I caused an investigation to be opened into the matter and I was finally allowed to go to Law School and as I was just getting settled BAM, it was withdrawn.

I just cleaned my pretty eyes and summoned the strength I wasn't aware that I had and went to join 300 level students in order to retake the course.

I had told this story before......see here https://link.medium.com/S3IYXYmIt6.  I am telling it again because I knew that I was culpable in the event that happened. Although I was robbed of that opportunity that year, the part I played in the robbery cannot be glossed over.

In life, in order to be at peace with oneself, you must accept the part you played in an event. Many of us tend to gloss over the part where we messed up, choosing instead to blame every other person.

In my view, acceptance is simply being aware of our emotions particularly as it affects the things we have no power of changing. Acceptance usually comes up in uncomfortable, sometimes hateful situations that we find ourselves.

In my story, I chose to be at peace instead of being frustrated at the turn of events. I studied hard, I was always in the library, I came to do what I ought to have done in the beginning.  

At the end of that year,  I got an A+ in the course that I hitherto struggled to get an E. And of course, proceeded to Law School the year after.

Acceptance does not imply giving up. It does not mean acquiescing to every situation because "it is your destiny". 

It is more of controlling what is within your power to control. You cannot control how the wind blows but you can learn and understand why it blows in a particular way, and try to work with that.

In gaining acceptance of a particular situation,  you have got to question your feelings, your emotions and vulnerabilities towards that situation. You do this by acknowledging that situation instead of being in denial of it. it is also okay to seek help where you need to do so.

I believe acceptance also means that no matter what you do, there are people who will never warm up to you. Nor will you warm up to some people. Interrogating these feelings of dislike is worth a shot...being at peace is one of the best feelings ever.

It is letting go of who you think you are in order to focus on who exactly you are. Accepting yourself, warts and all. 

Developing a worth of yourself so that you can discover your weaknesses, focus on your strengths, then projecting those strengths as opposed to speaking to your weakness.

I have found this part to be really important because our brains tend to hold on to negativity. If someone were to say 10 good things about us and one negative thing, we will focus on that one negative thing.

We invest so much energy in what people think of us, this is not good or bad it just is and it is a human emotion.  By just acknowledging those parts of us that we think are "unworthy" and amplifying those parts we are happy with, can make all the difference.

I found a study on Mark's internet called the "appreciative study". This is the ability to appreciate things, identify our value and that of other human beings; and use those values to face difficulties challenges and other complex situations."

The ability to appreciate and value our place in this world by understanding our value and that of other people, in my view helps us to be not just more accepting of ourselves and the World at large, but also makes us happy(ier).

Shalom

Bibire Omotoyosi Salihu 🌹

14052020

#Mywordfortoday is #Integrity

#Mywordfortoday is #integrity - challenging your beliefs.

Integrity is such a huge topic so, with your kind permission, I will take a small chunk out of it and attempt to write about that in a way that would resonate with many people reading this.

I was listening to a professor who said

" integrity is aligning your actions with your belief, conversely, not aligning your actions with your belief is hypocrisy".

The problem I have with this definition is; what if your belief is fundamentally wrong or your beliefs have changed?.

Many of us experience Imposter syndrome, in fact, it happens a good number of people.  Imposter syndrome is simply believing you are unworthy of the accolades you receive in the course of doing something. You just do not believe you are good enough. I personally suffered from it a lot until I had the conversation with myself "why do you think you're not good enough or why do you think Mr Lagbaja doing it is better at it than you are"?

Going back to that definition above, I have succeeded in ridding myself of the belief that I am not good enough, and by so doing, my beliefs have changed, they were also fundamentally wrong....could we then accuse me of hypocrisy? I think not.

So here is my perspective of what Integrity means. I will be talking about it as not just being a moral code which it is but in the light of what integrity does to the society.

How do you feel when a person makes a promise to you and fails to redeem that promise or goes back on his word? For many of us, it would make us feel really sad, bad or livid with anger, especially if that promise causes you to lose something valuable to you.

Society, businesses, familial relationships are all built on integrity. So for me, integrity is doing what you say you will do.  Yes, this definition is by far too simplified so let me give you relatable examples.

If a building loses its integrity, it loses its core and might collapse, if it does collapse, people may die. If a government loses integrity nothing that government says or do will garner any trust because people simply do not trust in the integrity of that government. If a person loses his integrity everything he or she says will not be believed.

Integrity is so much more than being honest because you can believe a thing to be true, you act on that truth and then it turns out that it was a lie.

Integrity is doing what you say you will do, without being prompted and even when it has become inconvenient. If you have to be prompted, cajoled, begged or harangued into fulfilling a promise, can we really say you acted with integrity?

You have also not acted in integrity if law enforcement forces you to do that which you should ordinarily do, such as pay your staff for the work that they have done, or paying your tax as part of your Civic responsibilities.

Integrity is not just a promise made to another person, it is also one to do yourself because if you would not keep a promise to yourself, how then could you keep to another?

Integrity is not a matter of your profession or occupation so you cannot claim to be a person of integrity simply because you are a person in authority or you are a pastor/Iman.

You make a promise and deliver on it without being prompted to do so. If for any reason you are unable to, you communicate your inability....this is my perspective of integrity.

In the business world, your ethics and reputation precede you. My people would say " word of mouth can travel to every part of the world.  Where your feet cannot go, words can be sent"...

Some people cannot get recommendations because they lack good track records and are deemed to be untrustworthy. 

Many of our artisans in Nigeria lack this valuable trait. From Tailors to mechanics to plumbers.  They would get paid for a job but would not deliver within the promised time, some not even at all. Some would deliver after so much pressure from you, and this can be very exhausting.

Integrity can also be used in amoral kind of settings. If a hired assassin must keep his supply of clients, his integrity to do as he says must be intact. He must deliver on the jobs given to him to do, There is after "all honour among Thieves".

Integrity helps society thrive from the angle of reciprocity. It is what birthed idioms such as "to whom much is given much is expected".

A person with integrity will respect other people's time, will be gracious, responsible, trustworthy and honest.

These things are not really easy to imbibe, but we must continue to try, our lives, business and society depend on it.

Bibire Ose Fowora

11052020

#Myworddortoday is #Dreams

My Word for today is #Dreams. I wrote this piece about two years ago. But everything I wrote remains sacrosanct.

This article is an upgrade to fit into my current realities. And it is a fitting end to this week's  #DailyWritingChallenge

The whole universe is filled with sayings about Dreams. Some people might call these saying cliché but they are true, and I am about to add my own set of clichés.

You see, a lot of people will die with their dreams unfulfilled, uncharted even, many will die with their dreams undefined......Since you are reading this today, will you allow me to stir your soul, to awaken your dreams?

Why you should dream:

1. Dreams are free, they literally cost you nothing.  Besides, your brain needs this wandering, it serves as a mental kind of workout. It has been scientifically proven that daydreaming is strongly tied to innovation,

2. Our minds typically move towards what it already knows, what it is already familiar with. And this is why you need to zero in on what your actual dreams are and begin to bombard your subconscious with those... In my own case, It had been my dream to speak at one of those prestigious Tedx conferences (still is 😊).  I wanted to speak on the big stage, to be a sought after public speaker.

So I began to flood my subconscious with these dreams. I even picked out my outfit, I think I was wearing a beautiful red turban to match my red lipstick.

I started preparing myself by watching public speaking videos, listening to people whom I admire speak and just generally learning how to improve myself whilst speaking.  Even though I didn't know where the opportunity to speak would come from, I just kept at it.

Also, I kept writing these random muses of mine, although it was more of a catharsis. I got my first writing gig from putting myself out there.

I do not know how, but that thing about the law of attraction is actually real. One morning at about 5 a.m, a friend of mine called me and asked if I could deliver a paper, my brain said yes before my mind could even catch up.

I got dressed, went for the training, it was one on leadership skills and I did it with such pizzazz and flair, you'd think I'd been doing it for years.

I thereafter got invited over and over again, in fact, I would usually receive messages from participants at my training saying "oh we loved your class", "your class was the best, thank you for the messages that you passed".

So please do not stop training your subconscious on your dreams whilst also preparing yourself, you never can tell when the opportunity to execute those dreams will open up to you. Executing your dreams is what differentiates you from being a mere daydreamer to an actualizer.

From when I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a Judge, I didn't understand how, where, when....maybe I read something (i was always reading things that do not concern me), I followed up by studying Law. That dream has been modified now though, Judges in Nigeria work too much, please. Lmao 😄

So, I settled for being a Barrister. And although I had many obstacles besetting this dream of becoming a Lawyer, I ploughed on nonetheless.

Like Colin Powell rightly said, "a dream doesn't become reality through magic; it takes sweat, it takes determination and it takes hard work." Gbamsolutely (This is Nigerian speak for "aptly put") our dreams do not work unless we do.

So how can you make your dreams come alive? First, our dreams are a sum total of the consistent choices and decisions we make daily.

Aristotle once said "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Borrowing from this wise quote, we are what we do daily, so in order to fulfil our dreams, we must consistently take quality and intentional steps towards fulfilling them.

Second, you must realize it does not matter how old you are, your dreams are still valid, please begin to work on them. Age is no barrier.

Colonel Harland Sanders, founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken began the food business that culminated into KFC at the age of 40, he went from failure to failure but never gave up on his dreams, today KFC is a household name known almost everywhere. Friends, your dreams are valid!!!

Age does not have to defeat your dream, someone wise once said it is false to say people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old, they grow old because they stop pursuing their dreams.

Dr A. P. J. Abdul Kalam, the former president of Indian once said, “Your dream is not what you see in sleep; your dream is that which keeps you from sleeping.”

Mark Zuckerberg had this giant dream of connecting people together all over the world, this dream gave birth to Facebook which for many of us has become indispensable. It wasn’t easy, it was serious hard work, but he did it.

We are in dire need of people who can dream dreams of things that never were.

Sounding a caveat here......whilst working on our dreams or aspirations, they may not move as fast as we think they should be, remember that the race is not given to the swift or the strong but to the enduring. Also, it is "your dream", it is not our "dream". Concentrate on your dreams and try to ignore distractions.

The third thing I would like for you to do is to observe social distancing from negative people because they always have a problem for every solution, they might rob you of the positive energy that you need.

Say ye to the naysayers of your dream “this little dream of mine, I am going to let it shine. Fam, don’t downgrade your dream just to fit anyone’s reality; and please don’t ever give up on your dreams.

Train your subconscious on those dreams and then get ready.

By the way, your dream does not have to start out being big (yes, people say if your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough), that may be correct. But begin to have those dreams first and then start magnifying them. Little drops of dreaming Folks, little drops.

This article is still dedicated to my chief Encourager, Shakirat Alade, I love you, Momma, bigly.

Keep your dreams ALIVE, be realistic about them and apply deadlines  (i.e. work hard, work smart, work tirelessly on your dreams).

Did you hear what Farrah Gray said? 👇👇👇👇👇👇

“Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.”

Peace!!!

My name is Bibire Ose Fowora (Pedigree cannot be bought or Class cannot be bought with Money).

And l hope to tell stories for a living.....

#Mywordfortoday is assuming #Responsibility: power of YOU

#Mywordfortoday is assuming #Responsibility: power of YOU

The overall theme of our daily writing challenge is value-based. And I just love how all of it ties up together.

Today's theme is "Responsibility. Can you assume responsibility if you lack self-respect? Can you take responsibility if you are unwise?

The one thing that runs through it all is the power of YOU. You are the one to take charge of your life.

If each of us would understand that the buck of assuming responsibility stops at the table of each of us, perhaps the world will become better for it.

Words are very powerful and this is why today I chose to use "assume responsibility".  We find that some people want to play victim to the very circumstances they themselves have created, in the words of my Nigerian people "kole werk- it can't work". If you must succeed at a thing, you have to assume responsibility for that thing.

I watched a video on goalcast where a Navy SEAL who had spent 36 years in service said that as young Navy SEALs, they were required to make the beds to perfection. For them at the time, it seemed a little ridiculous but they had no choice but to obey.

The wisdom of completing this one mundane task became apparent to them, because after awhile, it felt like they were taking responsibility for their lives by accomplishing that one little task.

It also reinforced to them that the little things in life matter, for if you cannot do the little things right, you will never be able to do the big things right.

These little things do add up, they become trickles, and in time become big damning dams.

How does this tie into our daily theme? If you have to change any corner of the world, you must practice taking responsibility for your own actions. You will not be able change anything, if you will not change yourself first.

There are many things outside our control.  We do not have control over how we were born, the family we were born into, who our siblings and our relatives are. My people have the ability to stop the rain from falling, so I guess we have partial control over this . I'm not joking. 😂

The things we cannot control, we cannot control however the things that we can control, we should control, while exercising balance of course.

The choice of whom to associate with, of whom we marry, how we raise balanced children etc. these are some of things that are within our control.

And the truth of the matter is that our actions or inactions have a bearing on the world at large. We serve as a moral compass for our children; our decisions, behaviour and ethos are mirrored in them. Children are wont to do as you do, and not as you say.

A parent who would ignore school parking regulations is teaching his child(ren) to be irresponsible and unmindful of other people.

A leader who is diverting monies meant for the Commonwealth of his people is saying to them " stealing is fine".

Covid-19 would not have shut the world down if leaders took responsibility early enough, but here we are everyone is suffering from the irresponsibility of a few. This is why the power of one person cannot be underestimated. 

True, one tree does not a forest make, but it is one tree that begins a forest.

My hope is that the many lessons brought on by this pandemic is being assimilated, so we do not descend into hobbesian chaos.

When a person who is supposed to assume responsibility neglects to do so, the ripple effect may be felt for ages. History is replete with the with examples of how one person began a catastrophic event, that swallowed up millions of people.

Why is assuming responsibility so difficult for us Could it be ego? Upbringing? or that we see ourselves as being better than others?

I haven't been able to answer these questions, but I do know that we should endeavour to inculcate these values into our children/wards from the earliest time that they can absorb it.

We should teach them by doing. We should teach them critical thinking because how does one assume responsibility for a thing if you were not taught to "never to leave out the part where you messed up"? If you were never taught that "other people are not a failed version of You"- Amy Johnson.

Teaching our younglins to think critically saves them from negative cognitive bias, which in turn save them from "subjective reality" that can hamper their ability to assume responsibility for their behaviours and the consequences that is certain to follow.

It is trite that we are free to make our choices but we are not free from the consequences of those choices.

In assuming personal responsibility, we will make mistakes.  Mistakes are a humanish kind of thing, there is no shame in that. We should strive to not be ashamed to owning up to those mistakes,  also we should try repair same. Why?

"We repeat what we do not repair."

History may not always be right, but it can serve as a guide on how to make amends. After all a wise person not only learns from his mistakes but also from that of others.

If we do not begin to take ownership of our behaviours, we stand a chance of losing the people who are dear to us. It could be our partner, spouse, children or even our subordinate(s) at work.

Yes, giving up our beliefs, ideas or our ways of doing things maybe a tad difficult for some of us, but if we do not learn and understand that a coin has two faces, what faces me backs another person, what I am seeing from that same one coin differs from what you are seeing, then we will lose the respect and maybe love of those who matter to us.

Taking ownership of one's behaviour is truly one of the most important factors in defining a person's true character.

What you should not do is develop a false sense of responsibility. I sometimes watch the Indian channel Zee World, and I am appalled at the goal post shifting and impossible standards,  they hold their daughters-in-law to.

Watching a movie about a people can sometimes give an inkling into how that Society is wired. In those movies, it is never the fault of the man that he is behaving irrationally, it is always the fault of the woman. "why didn't she bring him peace", "why did she give him tea"--- AMAZING. 🙄😒🤡

Authority figures such as parents, guardians, and bosses often blame dependents for things they are fundamentally responsible for, and by so doing, they create a very toxic dysfunctional environment.

A well-balanced individual would never be able to thrive in an environment where the superior is unable to take responsibility, and is quick to pass blames onto the subordinates.

Where a child was a victim of sexual or other abuses, they tend to blame themselves for that abuse or mistreatment. It does not help that the abuser constantly reiterates to them that they are to blame for the abuse. "They grew round beautiful breasts to entice them", "they have shapely ankles".😭😓🙄

These children grow up to be emotionally needy and dysfunctional, normalizing abuse well into adulthood.

If you are a victim of this vicious circle, please know that you are not to blame and you should not be ashamed to seek help.

You cannot successfully assume personal responsibility if you do not first break away from this unhealthy pattern.

Pandering to the unhealthy behaviour of your spouse, partner, parents or boss is not assuming responsibility ( it is called co-dependency) and it will continue as long as you allow it to continue.

You, my darling are the game changer, change that game now!!!

By the way, would you make your bed tomorrow? As you make your bed......

Bibire Omotoyosi Salihu 🌹🍀

07052020

#Mywordfortoday is #beingauthentic

#Mywordfortoday is #beingauthentic

I had written this post about a month ago, but it is sooooooo fitting for today's #dailywritingchallenge. I have freshened it up.😉

My second name should be "Joie de Vivre". As a young lady, I was very outspoken and was given to speaking very bluntly. 

But I was also impressionable, and I tried to suppress my personality as I was being formed by opinions and personalities of people I was impressed with.

But I never really fitted in anywhere, in cliques i.e. having loads of girls to vibe with, sort of being in a sorority and the likes. I, however, masqueraded, striving to find acceptance, and exhausting myself in the process.

I soon realized that I didn't like cliques very much....so I'd choose a lone friend who of course had their own "geng". I recently discovered that being an outlier could be attributed to the fact I am sanguine and also a southpaw (cool beans 😎).

When I turned 40, I realized I had been wasting my very fine personality (I know, quite silly to have wasted all that time) on trying to fit in 😒😏, when I was an outlier.

I became fascinated with me... Joie de Vivre (French, pronunciation: Zhuwa de viv) is the joy of living, the sheer excitement of being alive... I don't enjoy parties, they bore me, but I love life, I love reading, I love writing. I am very enthusiastic about living a full rich life.....I am still outspoken, albeit tempered now, I have become more diplomatic.

This is my superpower, living my life on my own terms, no pressure. I am a Joie de Vivran 🥳🥳

Have you discovered your superpower? Your voice, your identity?

Now, COVID19 has us camped in a sort of house arrest with ourselves and maybe our family/friend(s) for company, it's a great avenue to know you intensely and love you deeply.

This lockdown is a great time to interrogate your feelings about the stuff that makes you hurt or uncomfortable, also question your imposter syndrome (like, why are you here Madame? 😅).

If you interrogate your feelings and you do not like the person that you are, congratulations.  You have now become self-aware and take steps to rewire yourself.

Being authentic does not mean being a perfectionist, in fact, it is the perfect antithesis

This is because the idea of perfectionism varies from person to person. And frankly, as human beings, life can get messy and spiral out of control. The best that we can do is adapt to the circumstances.

If we do not, we expose ourselves to unnecessary pain and suffering.

It makes me laugh though when people say "don't try to be others, there is only one you", I beg to differ, you can REFINE yourself to whatever you want as long as you are not deceiving yourself.

Many of us have discovered a side of us that we did not even realize we had. Some of us are baking/cooking, some have taken to tailoring, some, a love for gardening, some of us have realised we have a gift for coding, public speaking, content curation etc.

Bad habits can be and are learned, therefore good ones too are learnable. Surround yourself with people whose values you best want to copy (thank goodness for social media).

Assume complete responsibility for your life by owning up to your weakness/mistakes (working on them) and amplifying your strengths.

Cheers to fine-tuning yourself, cheers to being genuinely happy with whom you have made of yourself.

Cheers to an authentic you.

Bibire Omotoyosi Salihu🌹🍀

06052020

#Mywordfortoday is practical #wisdom

#Mywordfortoday is practical #wisdom

Phew!!! I think fate is playing a cruel joke on me, for I am the least person qualified to write on wisdom, having made some rather foolish decisions in both my personal and professional life.

But then again, the universe is conniving to help me arrange stuff that I would write about.

Yesterday, our #dailywritingchallenge theme was on perseverance, and the key point I strove to make in my piece was that "Brilliance or Talent" is never enough.

Today, I am writing on wisdom and from my perspective on applying wisdom, brilliance or intelligence or intellect is also not enough.

You can be intelligent and consistently make unwise decisions.

So what is wisdom? I can not even deign to answer this because I do not consider myself an authority on the subject.

However the Bible from where I will be drawing heavily from describes wisdom as "being the principal thing", it goes further to say " wisdom is profitable to direct".

This for me means that in making decisions in life, it is important to do by applying wisdom.

How does one apply wisdom? There is a plethora of books, videos and talks about this, but my takeaway from all of it is that to apply wisdom, you must understand wisdom in the context of your application.

Stay with me 😀 Growing up in South-Western Nigeria, we had different "wisdom" proverbs to teach us everything from life to relationships to careers. Our movies are usually didactic, seeking to teach us the art of wisdom.

In speaking, they would enjoin us to put our thoughts into what we say because spoken words are like an egg, once it is broken, it cannot be put together again.

But is wisdom a purely moral concept? In my opinion, No, wisdom speaks to the practicality of things, can I do a sex video, absolutely, should I do a sex video, probably not.

Wisdom is also situational, let me use the year 2000 movie "Rules of Engagement" that featured Samuel L. Jackson.

In that movie, he had shot in the head, the radioman for the Vietnamese side. The Radioman was to be considered a POW. He shot him because, in his wisdom, that was one of the ways by which he (Jackson) could save the lives of his men.

On trial, his opponent on the other side said were he in Jackson's shoes, he would do the same. (I know this example might raise brows) but it buttresses the fact that wisdom sometimes may be considered, well immoral.

Is wisdom knowledge, absolutely not, if it were, we would not have a lot of knowledgeable people make such patently unwise decisions.....the Enron debacle comes to mind.

Is it possible to be wise at all times...LOL No. If it is impossible to right all the time, then you cannot be wise all the time.

Let's nip into the Bible real quick. King Solomon asked and was blessed with Wisdom. He then married so many women from different backgrounds that he lost his godly ways and began to practice idolatry, I mean this was a man who specifically asked for and received wisdom.

As I said at the beginning of this writeup, I am not qualified to write about wisdom, I do know that in acquiring some modicum of wisdom, we must remain open-minded, we must also endeavour not to hold too much to our opinions or ideas, it is unwise in the face of superior argument to hold on to your POV because of ego.

Life is a teacher, and learn we must if we want to be able to apply wisdom.

Remember wisdom is the principal thing.

Bibire Omotoyosi Salihu

28042020