Thursday, 7 May 2020

#Mywordfortoday is assuming #Responsibility: power of YOU

#Mywordfortoday is assuming #Responsibility: power of YOU

The overall theme of our daily writing challenge is value-based. And I just love how all of it ties up together.

Today's theme is "Responsibility. Can you assume responsibility if you lack self-respect? Can you take responsibility if you are unwise?

The one thing that runs through it all is the power of YOU. You are the one to take charge of your life.

If each of us would understand that the buck of assuming responsibility stops at the table of each of us, perhaps the world will become better for it.

Words are very powerful and this is why today I chose to use "assume responsibility".  We find that some people want to play victim to the very circumstances they themselves have created, in the words of my Nigerian people "kole werk- it can't work". If you must succeed at a thing, you have to assume responsibility for that thing.

I watched a video on goalcast where a Navy SEAL who had spent 36 years in service said that as young Navy SEALs, they were required to make the beds to perfection. For them at the time, it seemed a little ridiculous but they had no choice but to obey.

The wisdom of completing this one mundane task became apparent to them, because after awhile, it felt like they were taking responsibility for their lives by accomplishing that one little task.

It also reinforced to them that the little things in life matter, for if you cannot do the little things right, you will never be able to do the big things right.

These little things do add up, they become trickles, and in time become big damning dams.

How does this tie into our daily theme? If you have to change any corner of the world, you must practice taking responsibility for your own actions. You will not be able change anything, if you will not change yourself first.

There are many things outside our control.  We do not have control over how we were born, the family we were born into, who our siblings and our relatives are. My people have the ability to stop the rain from falling, so I guess we have partial control over this . I'm not joking. 😂

The things we cannot control, we cannot control however the things that we can control, we should control, while exercising balance of course.

The choice of whom to associate with, of whom we marry, how we raise balanced children etc. these are some of things that are within our control.

And the truth of the matter is that our actions or inactions have a bearing on the world at large. We serve as a moral compass for our children; our decisions, behaviour and ethos are mirrored in them. Children are wont to do as you do, and not as you say.

A parent who would ignore school parking regulations is teaching his child(ren) to be irresponsible and unmindful of other people.

A leader who is diverting monies meant for the Commonwealth of his people is saying to them " stealing is fine".

Covid-19 would not have shut the world down if leaders took responsibility early enough, but here we are everyone is suffering from the irresponsibility of a few. This is why the power of one person cannot be underestimated. 

True, one tree does not a forest make, but it is one tree that begins a forest.

My hope is that the many lessons brought on by this pandemic is being assimilated, so we do not descend into hobbesian chaos.

When a person who is supposed to assume responsibility neglects to do so, the ripple effect may be felt for ages. History is replete with the with examples of how one person began a catastrophic event, that swallowed up millions of people.

Why is assuming responsibility so difficult for us Could it be ego? Upbringing? or that we see ourselves as being better than others?

I haven't been able to answer these questions, but I do know that we should endeavour to inculcate these values into our children/wards from the earliest time that they can absorb it.

We should teach them by doing. We should teach them critical thinking because how does one assume responsibility for a thing if you were not taught to "never to leave out the part where you messed up"? If you were never taught that "other people are not a failed version of You"- Amy Johnson.

Teaching our younglins to think critically saves them from negative cognitive bias, which in turn save them from "subjective reality" that can hamper their ability to assume responsibility for their behaviours and the consequences that is certain to follow.

It is trite that we are free to make our choices but we are not free from the consequences of those choices.

In assuming personal responsibility, we will make mistakes.  Mistakes are a humanish kind of thing, there is no shame in that. We should strive to not be ashamed to owning up to those mistakes,  also we should try repair same. Why?

"We repeat what we do not repair."

History may not always be right, but it can serve as a guide on how to make amends. After all a wise person not only learns from his mistakes but also from that of others.

If we do not begin to take ownership of our behaviours, we stand a chance of losing the people who are dear to us. It could be our partner, spouse, children or even our subordinate(s) at work.

Yes, giving up our beliefs, ideas or our ways of doing things maybe a tad difficult for some of us, but if we do not learn and understand that a coin has two faces, what faces me backs another person, what I am seeing from that same one coin differs from what you are seeing, then we will lose the respect and maybe love of those who matter to us.

Taking ownership of one's behaviour is truly one of the most important factors in defining a person's true character.

What you should not do is develop a false sense of responsibility. I sometimes watch the Indian channel Zee World, and I am appalled at the goal post shifting and impossible standards,  they hold their daughters-in-law to.

Watching a movie about a people can sometimes give an inkling into how that Society is wired. In those movies, it is never the fault of the man that he is behaving irrationally, it is always the fault of the woman. "why didn't she bring him peace", "why did she give him tea"--- AMAZING. 🙄😒🤡

Authority figures such as parents, guardians, and bosses often blame dependents for things they are fundamentally responsible for, and by so doing, they create a very toxic dysfunctional environment.

A well-balanced individual would never be able to thrive in an environment where the superior is unable to take responsibility, and is quick to pass blames onto the subordinates.

Where a child was a victim of sexual or other abuses, they tend to blame themselves for that abuse or mistreatment. It does not help that the abuser constantly reiterates to them that they are to blame for the abuse. "They grew round beautiful breasts to entice them", "they have shapely ankles".😭😓🙄

These children grow up to be emotionally needy and dysfunctional, normalizing abuse well into adulthood.

If you are a victim of this vicious circle, please know that you are not to blame and you should not be ashamed to seek help.

You cannot successfully assume personal responsibility if you do not first break away from this unhealthy pattern.

Pandering to the unhealthy behaviour of your spouse, partner, parents or boss is not assuming responsibility ( it is called co-dependency) and it will continue as long as you allow it to continue.

You, my darling are the game changer, change that game now!!!

By the way, would you make your bed tomorrow? As you make your bed......

Bibire Omotoyosi Salihu 🌹🍀


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